Lawn-gate

We moved about a year ago. Our new house is only a mile or so away from our old house, but it is a little newer and within walking distance to my entire family. After a year (A YEAR!) of offers and counteroffers, walking away from the table and back again, we negotiated a fantastic deal on our lovely home.

Our lovely home sits in a pretty nice neighborhood. A neighborhood of much larger homes and fancier lifestyles than ours. Our lovely little home is the smallest and most modest of the lot of homes.

Our neighborhood has a mandatory neighborhood association. The association requires that we pay dues so we can enjoy the private park and pond, and attend such fun activities as the neighborhood family picnic and women’s Christmas cocktail party. (I was giving birth during the Christmas party last year, but I so can’t WAIT to rock out at next years!)

Apparently, the association also has rules and regulations as to how we keep and maintain our home. We did not know this until Saturday when the Board Association President gave us a nice friendly call to discuss the state of our lawn. Yep. Our lawn.

Do we have trash strewn about the grass? Nope. Do we have a car without tires up on blocks in our driveway? No. We just haven’t put forth “enough effort” into the landscaping and maintenance of our lawn. We may have a couple dandelions or so. (Hey – Aidan thinks they are flowers and he likes to pick them for me! I keep them in a vase on the kitchen counter.) And our lawn may not be as green or as well fertilized as our neighbors (who all have professional landscaping services!), but it’s not overgrown or embarrassing. I swear.

We were told we have to put forth “more effort” into the landscaping of our lawn. Our lawn should look as nice or more so than our neighbors. Are these people truly, really, for real?

It’s official. We are SO the white trash of our neighborhood. While this has kept me in a constant state of laughter and general hilarity, Chris does not find it funny in the least. He has been weeding, mulching and planting pretty much non stop since Saturday.

As payback? I am so going to be the drunkard dancing on the tables at the ladies’ Christmas social. That should really set the tongues wagging.