In Pursuit of Balance

Yesterday, I was a panelist for a forum on Making Part Time Work in Law by the Women's Bar Association. There were four panelists and all of us had varying reduced hours arrangements in our legal fields. It was interesting to hear the differences in our schedules and work structures. It made me realize there are so many solutions to creating flexibility as part of a legal career. Unfortunately, it is a solution so often missed by the powers that be - which accounts for women leaving law firms in record numbers despite women now accounting for more than half of law school graduates.

One of the recurring themes of the panel was the pursuit of balance. I think we all agreed that balance remains elusive for every mom. For me, just when I think I have reached a point of balance and ease in my life is just when things get interesting. Yesterday, I believed I had it all together. We were all up and out of the house ahead of schedule. I confered with Aidan's teacher on homeroom parent responsibilities prework and headed to work to arrive on time. I spoke (in complete sentences and without interruptions!) to a room of peers about my career. After work, the kiddies were happy. The hubbie was happy. All was good. I had balance.

Then there is today. This morning, Chris and I wasted twenty minutes tearing apart the house looking for Aidan's school folder with the field trip permission slips I had carefully signed and tucked away for school the night before. Chris finally found it. In the garage. In a bag of garbage. Apparently, I had signed the permission slips, put the money for the field trips in an envelope, wrote a note to Aidan's teacher - placed them all in the folder and then TOSSED IT ALL IN THE GARBAGE on top of the coffee grounds and the urine soaked diapers. I have no idea. None. Then I lost my car keys. After another ten minutes of searching, I leave for work (now late), plop my coffee on the center console so I can get my bag in my car and promptly knock the coffee over into the back seat spilling all over the floor.

I would run inside and grab some paper towels or napkins to clean up the coffee slowly soaking into my car's interior, but I remembered we have absolutely no paper products left in our house. NONE. (except for a few rolls of toilet paper.) Because this week, I remembered to buy three different kinds of juice boxes, but I forgot all about the napkins n' stuff. So instead, I used one of the kids' sweatshirts left in the car to hastily clean up the spill as best I can.

During the day, I get two calls from the boys' school because Brennan is having a hay fever attack with swollen eyes. I then battle the guilt of leaving my son with swollen eyes and stuffy nose at school, but weigh it against the impossibility of leaving work to pick up my child because of a sensitivity to pollen. After work, the boys are in true Wednesday cranky form - and manage to cry or whine or fight just about every second I have with them right up until bed.

Now the boys are asleep. And I know for sure, I have no balance. I have good days, bad days and alot of days that fall somewhere in between. But on most days, we are happy. On most days, we make it work. I guess that is balanced enough for me.