He's a Sweet Baby, I Swear...

Griffin is the sweetest baby. A snuggler who loves to be kissed and held. He nurses wonderfully well, takes three naps a day, and wakes only once at night to be fed. A sweet delightful dream of a baby who smiles easily and loves to giggle. This is all true. It's just that to be all the above, Griffin has to be with me. Only with me. Otherwise, he turns into what Chris has affectionately nicknamed, "the beast."

He cries and wails. He refuses to eat. He has spit formula back at his grandmother and has clamped his lips shut when offered a bottle. He howls so loud that his whole face turns purple. There is no consoling the beast unless and until I return.

We are blessed to live close to family who are always willing to babysit. The boys are loved and cared for by grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. But even Griffin's grandparents have become a little scared of him. On the rare occasions that I have left him, I return to tales of horror. He refused to eat or sleep. He cried so much and so loud that Brennan walked around the house with his hands clamped over his ears. Miraculously, once I return and hold him, the beast transforms into the sweet baby Griffin that I know and love. It is an instantaneous and amazing transformation. It baffles my husband and boggles the mind of his grandparents.

I am not sure how to help Griffin deal with our separation. I go back to work in one month. In one month, he will be away from me for three days a week, nine to ten hours a day. This will be difficult for us both and it seems almost impossible for Griffin. How do I make it easier? What can I do? I feel like the clock is ticking and I don't know how to ease this transition.

The thing is - I am excited to get back to work. I enjoy my three days at the office. But how can I look forward to something that will be so difficult for my baby? I am at a loss.

In better news, Griffin is now four months. FOUR MONTHS! He is 18 pounds - and in the 95% for both weight and height. My little chunker of a baby. My little love of a beast, what are we going to do with you?