Missing my Littlest One

I miss Griffin. I never realized how much I enjoyed our Mommy Mondays together until I lost them. When all three boys are home, Griffin doesn't have time to snuggle with me to read a few books or play hide n' seek. He would rather play with his brothers and their own made up games.

I miss my baby. I miss our days of snuggling on the couch after the boys have gone to school, watching Curious George. I miss our trips to Wegmans and sharing take out Chinese food for lunch. I miss our singing together to, well, anything and everything, and even busting a move now and then. I miss our chats. Griffin is a talker and he needs no encouragement to talk, talk and just talk.

I miss my littlest one.

Last night, Griffin had a tee ball game. Chris did tee ball with Griffin while I took Aidan to tennis team and raced home to make up a dinner. I had the other two boys reading in bed when Chris and Griffin got home. I helped Griffin get ready for bed. He kissed Chris goodnight and then asked me to snuggle with him.

We crawled under his covers. I put my arm under his head and he scooted up against my shoulder, putting his little face into my neck. I scratched his back with my other hand and just breathed him in, my sweet littlest boy. While we cuddled, he sang a song he made up.

"You are the best Mommy. Mommy, you are the best. I love you so much Mommy. You are my Mommy. You are the best."

Yes, it is enough to make your heart expand until it is too big for your chest and it just explodes from all the love.

After a moment, his singing stopped and his breathing slowed. He fell asleep nestled in the crook of my arm. I watched him for a good ten minutes, just sleeping pressed up against me. And then I fell asleep too.