The Wallet Fiasco

I was thrilled to leave work tonight, eager to begin my long weekend with the boys. My eagerness is probably what made me forget my wallet. My wallet with all my money. The money I need to pay the nice parking attendants for allowing me to park my car in their nice ramp.

Of course, I didn't realize I forgot my wallet until I had given the ticket to the attendant and reached for my wallet to pay him. My wallet wasn't in my purse. I had no money. A long line of cars stretched behind me while I dumped my purse out onto my car floor looking for the lost wallet. The attendant finally took pity on me (or feared the look of fury on the drivers in line behind my car) and told me he would pay my fare, but asked me to park my car in the street to return to my office and find my wallet.

I quickly find a spot on the street and park my car illegally, putting on my flashers as I dodged traffic to return to my building. (Not only am I parked illegally, but my inspection sticker was due for renewal in January. I am a ticket waiting to happen.) I run into the building as fast as my heels and skirt can carry me. Enter one elevator to get to the lobby. Get to the lobby and realize my security card and all my other identification is also in my wallet. I try to sweet talk my way past the guard, but apparently I am not sweet enough and I must present some threat because he refers me to the guard station with suspicion in his eyes.

I beg and plead with the guards at the guard station to allow me to take yet another elevator up thirty some floors to retrieve my wallet. It takes TEN MINUTES of arguing for them to finally, reluctantly let me pass the security checkpoint to get back to my office without the required identification. (I mean, really! What kind of threat do you think I posed exactly? Grrr.)

Get of elevator, run down the hall to my office, and find the fucking wallet hidden in the back of a fucking drawer. (If I had remembered to pack my lunch, instead of running out to grab Subway, this would have never happened, damn it.) With wallet in hand, run back down the halls to get back on the elevator and run into a colleague who expresses surprise when he sees me and says, "You left like a half an hour ago?!"

Yes. Yes, I did leave a half an hour ago. Thank you for reminding me. Out of breath, I recount the whole, annoying little story and watch an elevator of people giggle at my expense. Race out of elevator to next elevator to parking garage. In parking garage, race to attendant's booth to give him back the fare money. Then race as fast as I can to retrieve my flashing illegally parked car and pray, pray, pray I escaped a ticket.

And I did! NO Ticket! Hallelujah!

I was in a total pisser of a mood until I got home and saw my eagerly anticipated order from Amazon had arrived. My order of Dance, Dance Revolution for our Wii - which guaranteed me a night of dancing my tail off to some silly disco tunes. Things started to look up. I just may dance, dance the night away...