The stomach flu likes my house. Really, really, really loves to stalk my house and my three children. Either we make really great vomiters or we just have no immune system to speak of, because - really, if a person merely walks past the front door of our house with one little stomach virus germ clinging to them - that germ will stop, wait until our front door has opened and settle on in and make themselves at home. For quite some time.
I find this exceptionally unfair. I have friends and their children who, honestly, could get vomited on and STILL not catch the stupid bug. Not fair. We scrub our hands of germs. We keep a clean (if disorganized and chaotic) home. We take daily vitamins! Can't we have a pass on the damn vomit brigade just once?
Therefore, I propose the following: I think anyone who gets the stomach flu should get an automatic pass for (at least!) one year after the vomiting event. Sort of like a get out of jail free card, but better, really, because having young children vomiting all over the house is WAY worse than jail. (In fact, I think I'd volunteer for jail instead of catching vomit in a bucket at 3 a.m., but that's just me.)
Can you tell from the run on sentences and endless babbling that I slept all of two hours last night? I went to bed at 10:30, caught vomit duty in Aidan's room from 11:30 until 5 a.m., slept from 5 a.m, until 6 a.m, and then yelled repeatedly at my poor husband when he tried to wake me up at exactly the time I had asked him, under pain of death, to get me out of bed.
Chris and I negotiated a split of our sick child duties. I got Brennan and Griffin off to school and myself off to work while Chris stayed home this morning to nurse Aidan back to health on saltines, ice water and lots of XBox 360. We traded jobs half way through the day. In the afternoon, I worked at home while Aidan napped while Chris was off to work. After nap, I played some abysmal Sonic the Hedgehog leading my 5 year old to feel so sorry for me that he actually let me win.
I have spent every other spare second of my time praying to the gods of sickness to please, pretty please, spare my two other children from yet another round of this stomach bug. I disinfected and scrubbed any surface I could find and washed sheets and blankets in steaming hot water. We deserve a pass. It has only been TWO whole months since we were all vomiting in consecutive horror.
Keep your fingers crossed for us. Say a prayer. Until then, you may want to steer clear of our house and send some Clorox wipes my way.
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