Up All Night

Griffin has been getting up a lot at night lately. The 2 am calls (read: yelling and screaming) started a few weeks ago and are quickly getting old for the entire family. I feel particularly bad for Brennan who has been forced to come wake Chris and me up nightly to deal with Griffin's middle of the night screaming. (Chris and I used to wake up at the sound of a pin drop when Aidan was a baby. Now, we burrow ourselves under the covers and refuse to let a little thing like a screaming child disturb our rest. We’re tired, okay? So, very, very tired.)

Before bed last night, I decided to have a heart to heart talk with Griffin about the middle of the night disturbances. I explained to him that he was waking the entire family each and every night and it was just unacceptable behavior. He nodded as I spoke, looking as if he was seriously considering everything I said to him.

After a moment, he said, “You know Mom, I know I seem a lot older, but I am actually only three years old. And because I am actually only three years old, I am sometimes going to do things that other three year old kids do, like wake up at night. A lot of my friends wake up at night too. Even Ryan does it!”

And there you have it. The logic of a three year old. I’ve got nothing. We are doomed with this kid.

The Only Child Weekend

While the boys were lost in the Canadian wilderness, Griffin lived the life of an only child. We set up our first adventure - “camping” in Mommy’s room. (The whole camping idea may have been a tactical error on my part because “camping” involved Griffin falling out of bed multiple times a night, Griffin screaming in panic when one of the five bears huddled into bed with us were lost, and a nice, enthusiastic wake up call at the ripe hour of 5:30 am. Camping, obviously, even when done in the comfort of my bedroom, does not involve much sleep.)

Friday night was date night. I told Griffin we would visit Build A Bear and go out to dinner, just the two of us. When we arrived at Build A Bear, we were surprised (and so, very excited) to find out it was Star Wars Night, featuring the launch of the brand new line of Star Wars bears. (I kid you not. I could not have planned this better if I tried.) So before we plucked down a small fortune for some stuffing and fur, Griffin visited with a few store employees dressed as Jedis and a real life, honest to goodness Chewbacca. He even got to pick out the Star Wars theme to play whenever you squeezed his bear’s hand.

Griffin named his bear Skywalker and looked unbearably cute walking through the mall rubbing his cheek up against the bears’ soft fur.

We dined on hamburgers and shared a strawberry milk shake. I tried not to shed a tear when Griffin told me how much he loved me, once, twice and three or more times during dinner. I think the waitress wanted to take him home with her.

On Saturday, my brother Travis and sister in law Lynda had offered to take Griffin to give me some quality time at the spa. (There is nothing like the joy of some quality time at the spa. A facial. A massage. Just a little slice of heaven.) Griffin reveled in the chance to have Uncle Travis and Aunt Lynda all to himself. They are hot commodities in our house, and to have their undivided attention is quite a prize. They spent the day at the zoo, playing with their cat and playing games at home. I don’t think Griffin wanted the day to end.

I know he missed his dad and his brothers. I know I did too. But I think there was a part of Griffin who would whole heartedly take another weekend of the only child lifestyle. I know I would take it again too. Just minus the camping part.

Outward Bound

The boys survived life in the Canadian wilderness. They not only survived, but they thrived embracing the mud, the cold lake and the lack of modern conveniences without a protest. In fact, Aidan remarked to me, "It's weird Mom, but after a day or two you adjust and you think that camp is your home."

They climbed rope courses and did a cat walk on a log suspended two stories tall. (The video of Brennan balancing on a log up in the trees almost gave me a mommy heart attack.) The rock climbed, canoed, and did obstacle courses. One of my favorite stories was of the father/child obstacle course race set up all over the island. They did archery (Brennan's personal favorite), hiked and bush whacked through the wild. They swam in the lake and jumped from platforms 10 feet and 20 feet tall. (I am thankful there is no video of Aidan jumping from 20 feet into the lake. I am not sure I could handle it. On the other hand, I wish there was video of Chris jumping from the 20 foot jump, slipping and turning on his side, and landing a spectacular "back" flop. So spectacular he is black and blued all over from the force of the impact. I have heard there are pictures - of which I must make a mission to hunt down.)

Chris and the boys loved it so much that they will definitely return next year for the Whoville Dads and Kids Pathfinder Weekend, but in addition both boys would like to attend the camp for real during the summer. Pathfinder offers overnight camp for boys ages 7 and up, starting at two weeks and going for the whole summer. A few of Aidan's friends will attend next summer for two weeks and Aidan is desperate to go. He may be ready, but I am not sure I am ready.

The boys did struggle a bit with the lack of, ahem, modern bathroom conveniences. Brennan got home, gave hugs, and then promptly ran to the bathroom with a gleeful, "I have been waiting so long for this!" He then made himself at home in the bathroom for quite some time.

It's the little things you miss the most.

I am not sure how it happened, but when they got out of the car, I swore they each grew at least an inch or so. They looked taller and more mature. It may have just been the four days away, but I swear they grew in both body and in spirit while they were gone.

Daddy Time!

As the boys grow, their interests are turning to activities and sports that are tailor made for time with their Dad. I have held court for years with the boys at dance offs, rock band family marathons and sing alongs (most often to the glee soundtrack, of course). I can manage the impromptu soccer games in the front yard and bike rides around the neighborhood. We all love long walks, hide n' seek, and trips to the playground. But camping or mountain biking; snowboarding or golfing? Not my thing.

It's Daddy time.

It started with Daddy snowboard Sundays. At first, I embraced the Daddy snowboard sundays. It was time alone with Griffin, my baby left at home with me. When the weather turned warm, and the Sundays turned from skiing down hills to riding up them on bikes, I still enjoyed having Griffin all to myself.

This weekend I, once again, have my Griffin all to myself. Chris has taken Aidan and Brennan up to Canada for a camping trip with a group of Whoville dads and their kids. It is our family's first time partaking in an annual Whoville traditional dad and kid camping trip. It happens every year, at the same campsite, and has been occurring for years upon years. The Whoville Dads and kids drive six hours into the Canadian wilderness to Camp Pathfinder, an overnight camp set on an island with no running water, no electricity and no cell phone service. You pack what you can carry in, but you pack enough that you stay warm through the chilly Canadian fall evenings. Hikes, lake swims, zip lines, canoeing, rock walls - it is an outdoor lover's dream.

The boys were delirious over preparations for the trip. Chris was, honestly, if not just as excited as the boys, maybe even more so. Camping is his thing. He did all the shopping, all the preparing, and all the packing. The thought of a weekend spent in the forest with a lake as a shower gives me hives, but my hubbie and boys are over the moon. I am happy enough to share a special weekend at home with my Griffin. (We are spending the weekend "camping" in Mommy's room. The bed is comfy, the temperature warm and it has a working bathroom to boot! Much more my style.)

Until I realized, that soon, very, very soon, Griffin would be off to Camp Pathfinder with them too. Leaving me, all by myself.

It should sound like a dream. There is a part of me that is giddy over the thought of so much alone time. But there is a bigger part of me that is sad at this space. It is just another form of letting go. And I have never been all that good with the letting go.

This winter, we have planned for Griffin to hit the slopes with the clan on their Daddy snowboard sundays. He is overjoyed at the possibility. For me, it will be a day off from my boys and my first small step towards my last baby running with the pack of boys and their Dad. It will be me learning to let go.

B Goes to Kindergarten

Brennan was ready to go to kindergarten. I think he may have even been counting down the days until he could jump onto that big yellow bus, finally able to keep up with the path set by his big brother.

Brennan turned a little hesitant as the bus came round the corner, but when it stopped in front of our driveway, he was ready. Without a so much as a glance, it was time to go to kindergarten.

I had to call his name several times to get him to turn around for a quick picture. And while, yes, I wanted that picture, I also just needed to see his sweet smile before he drove off on that bus.




He did great. I, on the other hand, have had a much more difficult time with this transition. I thought it would be easier the second time around. I had convinced myself that surely, it had to be less of an emotional upheaval. But it isn't. Letting go is never easy.

Brennan returned from school on his first day bursting with stories of his classroom, his new friends and his teachers. We talked most of the late afternoon, in between swim practice and playing outside, about his day. He saved his last story for bedtime.

After I had tucked him into bed, he took a deep breath and told me the teacher had given each of the children in his class a heart sticker to wear for their first day. While they were on the playground after lunch, one of the little girls in Brennan's class lost her heart sticker.

"She was sad Momma so I helped her look for it," He said with a shy smile. "I looked everywhere, but we couldn't find it. She was so sad that when we went in the classroom and she didn't have her sticker, she started to cry. She kept crying and crying and so I gave her my sticker. Then she stopped crying because she felt better."

My heart melted as I watched Brennan take another deep breath full of pride over his story from his day. I told him I could not have been prouder of him. I hugged him to death, kissed him to pieces and just about ate him up with love as my heart burst for my sweet boy. My sweet, kindergartner of a boy.

Kindergarten is lucky to have him.

Marching On and Up

More change for our clan. Today, Aidan started third grade. The entire family bundled up to wait outside in the unseasonably cool temperatures for the big arrival of the school bus. After a quick wave, Aidan was off onto the bus without a care.

So easy, so confident, so different than a mere three years ago.

After Aidan was on the bus, Brennan and I headed to school for his kindergarten screening. He was being tested by his teacher, the very same teacher Aidan had back in the day. (The teacher who so kindly took me aside at my very first Meet the Teacher night to discuss how she had to shut the classroom door each morning to keep Aidan inside the kindergarten classroom while he cried for his life. Good times. Quite a proud mommy moment for me.)

She must have been surprised to see Brennan who was good to go for whatever she had in mind. Not a tear in sight. Kindergarten? Game on. Let’s go!

Only he must have been a little nervous, because a few of the simpler questions gave him pause. After the screening was over, the teacher and Brennan came out of the room to find me waiting in the hall. The teacher smiled and congratulated Brennan on a great job. She then turned to me and said there are just a few things he had trouble with. I waited, certain she would tell me it was his color comprehension or letters, but no.


He apparently could not remember his last name.

Yep.

I turned to Brennan, and said, "Brennan, you KNOW your last name."

Brennan shook his head and replied, “Mom, I honestly have no idea.”

Oh dear Lord. Seriously.

The teacher also remarked that Brennan was a little confused as to the date of his birthday.

I again turned to Brennan and said, slightly exasperated, "Brennan, you know your birthday!"

Brennan shrugged his shoulders, smiled and said hesitantly, "Sometime around Christmas?"

Each child offers their own unique adventure. At least he wasn’t crying.

(Check out the fabulous bedhead on Griffin and Brennan. We rock bedhead in our house and, obviously, are not shy about exhibiting the bedhead gloriousness to the public at large.)

New Spaces and Places

September is a month of transition. The pool closes. Summer activities end. Summer winds down as school winds up. It is a time that reminds me of how far we have come in our journey of parenthood.

The next week will bring us new spaces and places for our boys. Today, Griffin moved up from his preschool classroom, the Bluebirds, to his pre-K classroom, the Orange Bears. I left him in the loving care of the same pre-K teachers, the lovely Miss Laura and Miss Karen, that both Aidan and Brennan had back in the day.

We've done it before this whole pre-K thing. We know the class, the teachers, the routine. Hell, I even have my materials ready to go for the first homework assignment. It's the third time. I've got this. There should be no surprises.

But, of course, I was still surprised that I had tears in my eyes as I left my little G in his big boy class. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. But I was. It felt so final. There is so much growing up going in in our lives, so much moving on, and I am always caught off guard by how bittersweet it feels. My baby Griffin is such a boy.

Tomorrow my first baby, my Aidan, will get on the bus to start his year as a third grader. After we get Aidan off on the bus, I will jump into the car with Brennan to take him to his kindergarten screening. My sweet B, preparing for a year as a kindergartner. I am not sure my heart can take it.

Brennan starts school on Monday. I know he will hop on that bus, confident and excited to set off for his new adventure. He has been counting down the days for months. But I will not be surprised at all, when I, once again, have to hold back tears at how bittersweet it is to see my children move on and move up to new places.

Happy 8 Aidan!

Aidan, today you are eight.

At eight, you are still our budding scientist, our Lego architect and our boy in charge.

You learned how to ride a bike without training wheels this summer and promptly conquered the neighborhood on two wheels. You evolved from a boy terrified of the water to a swim team junkie, competing in relays, backstroke and freestyle with ease. You have fallen in love with golf and enjoy the time with your dad on the course, particularly during your first father-son tournament last month. You started baseball this year and made all of us so proud with how quickly you adapted to a sport you have never played.

This summer was your first ever triathlon. I admit it, I never expected you to finish the race when I saw the crowds of kids ready to compete. I was nervous for you. But you have grown into such a confident boy. Without even a backward glance, you set off running towards the water to swim, then to bike, then to run. I will never forget how proud of you we were when you raced across that finish line with a huge smile on your face. You were spectacular.

You love to read, but particularly like atlases and encyclopedias stuffed with facts about science, space or the world. I constantly find you re-reading the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, again, again, and well, again. Your favorite television shows are Adventure Camp, Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, Star Wars the Clone Wars and Arthur. You love to play Rock Band, preferring to rock on the guitar, while your brother Brennan accompanies you on drums. You also love games, from Chess to Monopoly to Battleship. But above all, you continue to love anything Legos and anything Star Wars. And any combination of the two is your idea of perfection.

You are a hard worker. Your teachers and coaches are quick to tell me how you will do whatever is asked of you and how you are always one of the first to offer to help. There aren't any words of praise that could make me happier.

You are still my junk food junkie. Your favorite food is pizza. You love brownies and cookies, warm from the oven. I feared you would turn into a pizza log from the sheer number you consumed at the pool over this summer.

You discovered girls this summer or well, they really discovered you. (This was not easy on me and I had to hide many a tear behind big sunglasses as I watched a gaggle of girls chasing you around the pool.) You developed your first crush on a sweet girl named Emily. It was a summer romance of giggles, tag around the pool and deep sighs as Emily talked about, well, anything.

You are a wonderful big brother. You are kind to your younger brothers and are eager to help them or teach them new things. The three of you are inseparable, spending long summer days staging elaborate Lego battles, riding bikes or swimming for hours upon hours.

You are a cuddler and a love. You will still crawl onto my lap, snuggle up next to me or run to me for a hug. You are open with your love for us and never shy away from sharing how much you love me, your dad, or your brothers.

You are becoming a young man before my eyes, but I continue to treasure the little boy I can still see in you. Happy 8th Birthday to my sweet boy.

Aidan in Pictures

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